there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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