i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
