I just cut my nipple shaving
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
