Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
