i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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