Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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