who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
