so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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