i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
