Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
