RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We don't watch enough power rangers
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
