Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
