Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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