I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
