Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
