dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
