I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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