so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
