boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Come on in and take your pants off
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