is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Buhtt sex?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
