So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
