He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
