I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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