Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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