so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize