just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
