He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I have already put on my inside pants.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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