he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
