A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
