He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
