She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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