dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Randomize
