I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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