drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
