I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
