11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
