I puked a lego.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is Oprah even human
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
