dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
