dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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