yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
