i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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