Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
His nipple licking is glorious
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