your parents love me but you hate me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
