Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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