Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
