Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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