5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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