but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
