Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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