she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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