make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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