I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
