shes about as inviting as chlamydia
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
