butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
