ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
