If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
