DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
