the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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