Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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