He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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