I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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