I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
