I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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