AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
